Gay Wellness
Posted 10/23/2021 in Massage

Gay massage booking 101: tips and etiquette to get the most out your experience

Gay massage booking 101:  tips and etiquette to get the most out your experience

Are you new to the world of gay massage? Perhaps you’ve been getting massages for a long time and still feel a bit unsure of how to go about this whole ordeal. 

Perfectly normal. 

No need to feel concerned—we’ve talked to the therapists in our network to come up with this guide to gay male massage etiquette. It includes what you need to know to get everything right prior to, during, and after your massage. 

It's true that booking the right masseur for you is an art form in and of itself, and can be a challenging process! Read this here for some tips on how to book the right gay massage therapist for you. 

But once you've found him you want to be on your A-game. So before the actual massage, there is are some good practices you should know. Let's go over them:

Booking in advance 

Book your session as far in advance as possible. This gives your massage therapist time to prepare for your appointment so you have an optimal experience. Sure, they may have time available—or a cancellation—and be able to accommodate you at the last minute, but this should be the exception, not the rule. 

Also, don’t cancel right before a session is about to start. It’s unlikely that your therapist will be able to rebook the time (and therefore it becomes lost income). If you MUST cancel last-minute, the courtesy would be to pay for the session anyway.

Just follow the golden rule of treating your massage therapist as you want to be treated, and everything will be okay.

Asking for discounts

Asking for confirmation about pricing is perfectly reasonable. Requesting discounts is awful.

Why? Great massage therapists provide a premium service. Their work is physically, mentally, emotionally and intellectually demanding. Asking for money off is comparable to bargaining at Saks. 

It’s just not a thing. Nope.

Asking for pictures 

Indeed, you want to work with a masseur who is clean, well groomed, attractive, and professional looking. If his pics don't convey that, feel free to ask for more and explain why you want them. It will help you feel more comfortable about booking an appointment with him and make your therapist aware that they need a better, more complete array of pictures.

However, if you’re just digging for pics of his private bits pause! This is not a hookup experience. And a masseur is most certainly not the same as an escort. If you're looking for dick-pics, Gay Wellness is likely not the place you want to be. (Try Grindr?)

Takeaway:  A legit request for professional pictures is okay. Asking for nudes is not.

Asking for sex 

All the masseurs on this site are highly trained professionals focused on providing top-tier therapeutic services. Those on other sites may not be. If you’re looking for a quick-and-dirty bodyrub to get you off, Gay Wellness isn’t the right site.

These guys have actual training behind them. They take pride in the craft of offering skilled touch. Requesting sex from anyone on Gay Wellness shows a lack of respect for their education, knowledge, training and experience.

Now, I know we are all human, and it's perfectly normal to get aroused by touch. But let's remember that a lot of masseurs are certified, and can actually lose their license if they are caught performing such services. 


If you get sick with a cold, flu, COVID-19, skin condition or anything that could be transmitted to your therapist, reschedule your appointment. If a masseur is sick, they can’t work. If they become ill and don’t know it, they could pass on the illness to their clients. 

After having lived through the pandemic, everyone knows that it doesn’t make sense to take chances with the health and wellbeing of others, including your massage therapist and his clients.

And... massage time is here!

So you’ve booked your session with your massage therapist, and now it's game-time. You want to make an impression. He may just end up being your go-to male massage therapist for the next 10 years!

There ought to be some unwritten rules about the whole experience, right? Indeed there are. Here are some tips on some basic etiquette for the whole process, and speak to some of the doubts you may be having:

Don't eat, drink, or smoke before a massage

Massage involves a significant amount of physical pressure on your body. Because of this, it’s a good idea to avoid eating a large meal before a massage. And while it’s smart to stay hydrated, don’t drink so much water you need to pee during the session. But definitely hydrate a lot after the session!

It’s also best not to smoke right before an appointment, since a massage could accelerate the absorption of cigarette toxins into your body. Also, your therapist may not appreciate the smell of smoke off you in their studio, especially if they’re trying to create a positive sacred space. Finally, alcohol (or any type of drug) will limit your ability to be completely present in your session, reducing its effectiveness.

Shower beforehand

Get rid of that stank. Taking a shower ensures your muscles are loose, so you can really get the benefit from the massage. Clip those toe nails too! Don’t let the notion of “it’s just another man, so he can deal with my odor” - shower up!  

Did you know? Showering just before a massage allows the oils or lotions to better be absorbed into your skin.

Some masseurs even allow you to shower at their studio before or after the massage. (p.s. it’s much nicer to work on clean feet!)

Arrive a bit early

A good rule of thumb is to show up for appointments about 15 minutes early. This gives you time to ground, settle, use the restroom, and get familiar with the space. Some masseurs even allow you to shower on-site.

Sure, your time is important. But so is that of your massage therapist. Arrive late, and you’re putting him in an awkward position because he has to figure out how to meet your expectations in a reduced amount of time. He doesn’t want to disappoint you! He requires time to get to know you, your needs, expectations, and anxieties.

Silence your phone

…because what’s more distracting than the pings and vibrations during a massage? This is your time to totally unplug from everything, and really, the world can wait.

You must be mindful and fully present to enjoy a massage. Hearing pings and rings from a smartphone, tablet or computer makes it hard for you to be fully present to the massage. Just shut that thing off! 

no cell phones sign

Even though we are all addicted to these devices, you'll be thankful for your digital detox.

Undress to your level of comfort

Typically the masseur will leave you alone as you undress to your underwear or down to the nude. Once you're on the table, he'll (likely) place a towel over your bum. It's called "draping."

gay massage draping with phoenix

Alright now, you don’t have to be nude, and any trained massage therapist knows that. It does not mean that you’re a prude if you keep your undies on, and it’s definitely not inappropriate to take them off. It’s just about what you’re comfortable with. The masseur may or may not use a towel or drape over your midsection, and you can always request one if they don’t.

That said, it is a lot easier for the masseur to work on your hips and glutes if you take off your undies. Remember that you are with someone who works with many human bodies on a daily basis, and nudity is no big deal for them.

Just chat with any gay massage therapist, and he'll help you with all your concerns about being naked.

How to "handle" your body during the massage

Your body is moving into a deeper, more relaxed state, and is bound to have some involuntary things happen. Massage therapists are experienced, and they know how to deal with the little "body things" and keep you feeling comfortable.

Many guys are really worried about passing gas during a massage. The truth:  a bit of gas is natural and your therapist will ignore it, pretending it didn’t happen. That said, if you have a lot of gas, or need to blow your nose or pee, simply ask for a break and go to the restroom. And what if you fall asleep? Well, it’s a pretty big compliment to the masseur if you feel relaxed enough to doze off on their table. 

It is very normal for us men to get an erection during a massage. 

No worries, just let it be. It is not a biological hazard, and you haven't offended anyone, so don’t be embarrassed. 

As for being vocal, don’t be afraid to let out some moans, sighs, and yawns. It’s a healthy part of the relaxing process. 

Above all, remember that massage therapists help people become more comfortable in their body, and are trained to be understanding and empathetic.

Using your words

It’s great to chat a bit for the first few minutes after getting on the table. It helps you feel more connected to the masseur. And talking is actually part of the process of letting go of all your stress and worries. 

Ultimately, it’s up to you how much you want to chit chat, but you're there to relax, after all. The most important thing is that you let your body rest enough so that your mind can slow down, as well.

However, if you don’t like how something feels, speak up. If your therapist asks if you need more or less pressure—be honest—they won’t be insulted or offended. They are trying to provide the best experience possible for you, and honest communication will help ensure that. Remember, this is your massage.

"I would rather my clients leave happy and satisfied than not, so if [the therapist] is doing something that is not enjoyable, just pipe up! A good 'that's a little too much pressure' or 'that area is too sensitive to be worked on' should get you satisfying results." 

 - Dan Nazarian, masseur in San Francisco


Massage is a service business, and just like in any other industry, massage therapists appreciate tips. But the amount you should tip is still very much a "it depends on the experience" type of decision. 

Some considerations come to mind, like:  Did he come to your house and lug their table up 50 steps? Did he deliver a massage that went beyond your expectations? Do you feel like he undercharged you for some very high-quality work?  

Tip what you feel is right, and also know that while a 10-20% tip is normal these days. Trust your gut, and you should be fine.

Post-massage feedback(s)

Ideally, as a client you're able to form a long-lasting relationship with a gay masseur who you trust. The more you share with them about what works and what doesn't, the more comfortable you'll feel with them. If the pressure is wrong for you, you’re ticklish, extra sensitive, have allergies or don’t like being touched in certain areas, share it!

If you have a positive experience with your massage therapist, don’t just tell them in person. Pass it on online:  give them a stellar rating and review. Reviews help your gay therapist rank higher on the website and attract new clients.


Now we’ve spelled them out - those unwritten rules! You now know how to engage your male massage therapist. 

Remember:  Your professional massage therapist is just that — a professional. He knows what he’s doing and is able to guide you so that you feel comfortable throughout your massage experience. It’s how he became successful and popular with his clients. 

Know that you can ask about—and discuss—anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsure. 

gay massage booking tips infographic

And who knows? Your next massage with him could turn into a lifelong professional relationship. Often it is our masseur who understands us in ways that others can’t, because of how well they know us and our needs. 

We also invite you to check out our gay masseurs in Los Angeles as well as all the other cities we service.

Happy massages!